Vaginismus Brisbane Australia

Vaginismus Brisbane Australia

Vaginismus Brisbane Australia healing bodywork by Yoni Whisperer Aleena Aspley

Vaginismus is defined as involuntary spasm/contraction/reflex of the muscles surrounding the entrance to the vagina, making penetration impossible and/or painful, which causes personal and/or relationship distress.

This involuntary vaginal reflex can be triggered by attempts at intercourse, but also by attempts to insert other objects, like tampon’s, tools for a medical examination and even your own finger. Some women with Vaginismus express it feels like ‘hitting a brick wall’ when trying to insert something.

Vaginismus Brisbane AustraliaThe extent to which vaginismus manifests itself various greatly from woman to woman. Some can insert their own finger, some are fine with a medical examination and others may even be able to partially insert a penis. But there are also women with vaginismus who are unable to insert anything into the vagina at all, since it is too painful or the muscles cramp up too much.

It is important to note that most women with Vaginismus are able to get sexually aroused and most do have a deep desire to have sexual intercourse with their partner. It therefore becomes extremely frustrating for these vaginismus sufferers not to be able to make love.

Vaginismus Brisbane Australia


Primary Vaginismus occurs where a woman has never, at any time, been able to have pain-free sexual intercourse.

Secondary Vaginismus occurs when a woman develops Vaginismus after having been able to engage in pleasurable pain free intercourse previously; this is usually due to trauma or surgery.






Vaginismus seems to be quite uncommon when looking at its prevalence in the general population. However, because of the shame and secrecy associated with the condition it may be under-reported and on the basis of clinic samples, it would appear that vaginismus is not that uncommon after all. Vaginismus is also believed to be a leading cause of the non-consummation of marriage.


Vaginismus is due to involuntary tightening of the muscles in the vagina, these women have no control over it and also do not realise that this is happening. Therefore, for most women, vaginismus comes completely unexpected. It is like an automatic reflex, similar to the fact that when blowing into someone’s eyes, it causes the eyelids to shut.

Vaginismus Brisbane AustraliaAll the muscles in the human body learn progressively how to behave appropriately. For example, when babies learn to walk it requires attention focus and effort, however slowly it becomes an automatic response, which does not require any conscious focus. Similarly, the muscles in the vagina of a woman with Vaginismus have unconsciously learned an automatic response to penetration, which is to spasm. So these muscles have, for some reason, developed a memory that penetration is not desirable and should not be allowed.

It is important to remember that Vaginismus is not due to a physical abnormality of the genitals. Woman with Vaginismus have normal vaginas and they are not too small to fit a penis.

Generally woman with Vaginismus seem to have some unhealthy sexual messages that result in the reflex of these muscles. These messages can be conscious or unconscious.


  • Fear of penetration, which can rise to levels of a phobia
  • Fear of pregnancy
  • Fear of pain
  • Lack of sex education
  • Past sexual abuse
  • Past sexual trauma
  • Negative sexual attitudes
  • Parental fears
  • High anxiety
  • Religious background
  • Violence
  • Abusive partner
  • Difficulty to trust
  • Fear of commitment

Vaginismus can co-exist with various medical conditions. Vaginismus can also continue to be present even after a medical condition has been treated. It is important to rule out any of these medical conditions.


  • Ovarian Cysts
  • Urinary Tract Infection/Interstitial Cystitis
  • Vulvodynia
  • Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
  • Genital/Pelvic Tumors
  • Vaginal Atrophy
  • Vaginal Dryness/ Inadequate Lubrication
  • Childbirth trauma
  • Vulva Cancer
  • Vaginal Infections
  • STIs
  • Skin conditions, such as Eczema/Psoriasis


Emotional Hardship:  Vaginimus is an extremely distressing condition. It is experienced slightly differently for each vaginismus sufferer, however common feelings may include:

  • Confused
  • Frustrated
  • Feeling lonely/isolated
  • Angry
  • Sad/Depressed
  • Shame/Embarrassment
  • Scared to start a new relationship
  • Worried about partner’s feelings/thoughts

Most women with vaginismus feel confused about what is happening to them and are not sure where to go for support. They may feel as if they are the only one suffering from Vaginismus and may not understand why or what to do. When in a relationship they may feel they are a disappointment to their partner. When not in a relationship, they may feel embarrassed or scared to approach a new partner or start a new relationship and therefore it is common for them to isolate themselves.






Vaginismus Brisbane AustraliaCurrently in a Relationship:  There is no doubt that Vaginismus has a significant impact on sexual relationships.

Although Vaginismus is often considered a women’s problem, it is essentially a couple’s problem and it may even be a relationship deal-breaker.

It is commonly seen that couples seek therapy because vaginismus has become highly problematic or when they want to have children.

Partners of women with Vaginismus:  Partners of women with Vaginismis may feel confused as to what is happening exactly and may not understand why sexual intercourse is being avoided.

Partners may:

  • Feel concerned about their partner’s interest in them/physical attraction to them
  • Be worried about doing something wrong sexually and not being able to get their partner aroused enough to enjoy sexual pleasure
  • Be worried about hurting their partner
  • Are distressed about their partner’s well-being
  • Feel frustrated about not being able to be intimate with their partner
  • Be confused about where to go for support


When not in a relationship, Vaginismus may prevent a woman from approaching new partners or starting a new relationship. They may feel ashamed and embarrassed and therefore isolate themselves.

It is important to remember that vaginismus can be worked on without having a partner. This may increase your confidence and your self-esteem to feel empowered to enter in a new relationship or to start meeting people again.


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About Aleena Aspley

Yoni Whisperer - Aleena Aspley of North Brisbane Australia is a Certified Somatic Sexologist, (Sexological Bodyworker) USA 2010 ALEENA'S CREDENTIALS. Certified Somatic Sexologist (Sexological Bodyworker) USA 2010 Over eight years experience relaxing people of all Genders-since 2005 Owner of Kinkassage Sensual & Adventurous Erotic Adult Massage Owner of Tantra Kinkassage Sublime Transformational & Intuitive Tantric Adult Massage Owner Of Domme Kinkassage Avant-garde, Playful & Edgy Domination for Adults Male Multiples Makeover for Men - Multiple Orgasm / Ejaculation Optional Quodoushka 1 & 2 Graduate March 2014 Angel Intuitive Graduate with Doreen Virtue 2013 Certificate in Lomi Lomi Hawaiian relaxation Urban Tantra Professional with Barbara Carrelas 2012 Certified Bondassage Practitioner 2011 Reiki 1&2 2010 Theta Healer 2010 Dakini Course with Triambica 2011 USA Andrew Barnes-Awakening Within Institute- Luminous Energy Orgasms 2011 Reflexology Certificate 1996 Les Mills PUMP instructor Training 1995 Lifeline Telephone Befriender 1995 Certificate in Human movement as a Fitness Trainer 1989 FUTURE COURSES OF INTEREST TO ME Chakradance (2014) Sweet Medicine Shamanic De-armoring (2014) Sweet Medicine Red Lodge Program (2015)